So, Barrett is (obviously) here and we are (semi) struggling settling into our family of five. We have more help than we deserve and that makes things a whole lot easier. My mom and her sister take and pick up the kids for school, preschool, speech, and gymnastics. Jonathan is gone way before we start our day so I'm on my own getting everyone fed and ready BUT he does the first half of the night feedings/monitoring and I do the second half so we both get big chunks of sleep. I would say Barrett has been our easiest transition so far. Of course there have been a lot of rough patches but we're figuring things out faster and I've been calmer with Barrett than I have with the two older ones although I feel like a failure on a daily basis because juggling all three is hard. Well, mainly juggling their schedules is hard and I feel like I can't give any of the three my full attention or am too sleepy to give them my full attention. And, honestly I'm still coming to terms with the fact that we even have three kids. Nine months apparently wasn't long enough to wrap my head around it. A lot of goals have had to be put off and that's hard.
Just being totally honest, newborns are not my favorite. While everyone else posts about how they love "this sweet time" or how they just "love the newborn stage" I don't and what's awesome about baby number three is that I don't mind saying it. I don't look back fondly on Georgia's time as a newborn or Milam's (even though he was a far better baby than her!) Give me a 3 month old, a one year old, heck...even a two year old any day. Let's skip over age three shall we. And it isn't a hormonal thing...it's a personality thing. I am SO type A (type 1) - OCD that the newborn life style just doesn't mesh with me. I'm not naturally patient or empathetic (at all!) so it's a daily struggle to keep my frustrations in check.
A lot has come with the third and a lot has gone. Mainly my filter is gone. Like, when visitors come over I don't mind telling people to wash their hands, or that he's sleeping and we're not going to get him, or that it's not a good time to come visit because I didn't get any sleep last night. I just don't care all that much about other people anymore. My main goal is to keep my three little people healthy and happy and that's about it.
Barrett fights his naps so hard. My other two didn't do this. He'll be ready for a nap, full, and clean but just will not let his body relax. He fights, kicks, won't blink, crane his neck...When he finally gets to sleep he takes horrible naps because he's overly tired and probably working up an appetite. I can put him down in bed totally relaxed and asleep after a marathon of methods on my part and nope...wakes wide up. I can put him in bed drowsy, awake, or a number of other ways and NOTHING works except to make him cry for a bit which totally wrecks my nerves. I hate it for my other two kids because so much time is devoted to Barrett. He isn't fussy when he's held...until he's sleepy and he doesn't have any wake time at night (it's rare when he does) and just eats and goes right back to sleep but man...his naps are KILLING ME.
Georgia is doing ok. She's had some tears about not spending enough time with dad. (She honestly likes him more than me!) She knows it will get better, she knows Barrett needs the attention, she's old enough to understand that but she gets very frustrated about the lack of parent time. She's had a few low grades too and I feel really guilty about that. Like, I've neglected her and her school work in favor of Barrett (or even Milam) and that she's going to get behind in school because I can't work with her as much as I have in the past. She's doing awesome in gymnastics and has gotten all kinds of crazy new skills, especially on floor and bars. Again, I feel guilty though because we aren't up there watching her all the time like we have in the past. I don't want her to feel forgotten. Part of it is the time of year. It is flu and RSV season so we leave the house as little as possible so we can keep Barrett healthy. Georgia LOVES Barrett and just eats it up when he's awake or makes any sounds. When she gets home she instantly goes and washes her hands and changes her clothes (we have her change clothes to lower the risk of giving Barrett her school germs) and wants to hold him.
Milam doesn't seem super phased by the baby but he has wet his pull up a few times and is getting into a lot more trouble at home. The getting into trouble is partly him knowing I'm tied to feeding Barrett and partly my patience level and sleep deprivation. He's doing better about playing quietly but he still asks me to come play with him. He LOVES Barrett and wants to hold him and talk to him and look at him all the time. Milam doesn't know his colors or letters or numbers and there is a lot of mom guilt there. Logically I know we've worked on it a TON and logically I know he'll get there (He's so smart. He knows and recognizes car brands, can count really well, and is insanely/scary good at problem solving) and that he's just different than Georgia was at his age but I always think I could have done more...I could be doing more...even though we work on all his basics EVERYDAY and that he just doesn't care. AT ALL.
The hardest adjustment for me is lack of time. No time for the other two kids. No time for Jonathan. No time for myself. I know it will come and things will level out so we're just making it work for now. I want to just be able to pick up and go places and have fun together...all five of us but it just isn't going to happen right now. A baby makes it obviously more challenging but Georgia also has gymnastics every Friday night until 7:30 so I always feel like that cuts into our weekend. Thank goodness football season is over because that will make Fridays just a little easier for us all. In addition to her Friday practices (that she can't miss) her meet season will be upon us soon and that has us traveling A LOT of weekends and I'm so not ready for it. (Georgia's gym schedule and the fact that her and Jonathan have different spring breaks means we won't be traveling until the summer so hopefully Bitty Bear likes the car by then) Having an older child with a busy schedule makes having a newborn that much more complicated. In the middle is Milam. I feel like he gets lost in the mix sometimes between his sister's gymnastics schedule and his baby brother's basic needs.
So, that's life with three kids. We're making it ok but very much looking forward to the future!
A lot has come with the third and a lot has gone. Mainly my filter is gone. Like, when visitors come over I don't mind telling people to wash their hands, or that he's sleeping and we're not going to get him, or that it's not a good time to come visit because I didn't get any sleep last night. I just don't care all that much about other people anymore. My main goal is to keep my three little people healthy and happy and that's about it.
Barrett fights his naps so hard. My other two didn't do this. He'll be ready for a nap, full, and clean but just will not let his body relax. He fights, kicks, won't blink, crane his neck...When he finally gets to sleep he takes horrible naps because he's overly tired and probably working up an appetite. I can put him down in bed totally relaxed and asleep after a marathon of methods on my part and nope...wakes wide up. I can put him in bed drowsy, awake, or a number of other ways and NOTHING works except to make him cry for a bit which totally wrecks my nerves. I hate it for my other two kids because so much time is devoted to Barrett. He isn't fussy when he's held...until he's sleepy and he doesn't have any wake time at night (it's rare when he does) and just eats and goes right back to sleep but man...his naps are KILLING ME.
So, that's life with three kids. We're making it ok but very much looking forward to the future!
1 comment:
Ugh, it would be rough to juggle a newborn with a gymnastics schedule! I hope things smooth out soon for you. Also, do NOT feel guilty about Milam not knowing letters/numbers/etc. I feel like boys are so different than girls that way! Gwen was interested in learning from when she was still tiny, but my boys...not so much, for either of them. I had a boy first, so I was more surprised when Gwen was little and liked learning those things, haha!
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