Why I'm a No-Nonsense Parent

June 20, 2014


I play dress up with Georgia, we paint and color, we play catch in the back yard, and Freeze each other like we're Anna and Elsa.  I think I'm a pretty fun parent BUT I'm totally no-nonsense when it comes to discipline.  I'm sure a lot of people would say I'm too strict or harsh but I don't think I am.  My parents were strict with me and my two brothers and we all graduated from college and became productive citizens.

Now obviously all children and child parent dynamics are different but this is what Jonathan and I believe works best in our house.

If I say something to Georgia then I 100% mean it.  Maybe it's because I was a teacher and I saw the negative results of lack of follow through but I'm very serious about it.

We don't say "potty words".  No stupid or shut up.  We don't say "poop" unless it is in reference to going to the bathroom.  We don't raise our voices to our parents.  If Georgia does say a word she shouldn't we talk about it (her warning) and I tell her if she says it again then she's getting soap in her mouth.  A few times, not many, she's tested me and I've followed through each and every time. She HATES soap in her mouth more than a spanking. 

If she throws a fit, rebels, or yells I tell her that's not ok and we shouldn't do that.  I then tell her she needs to change her action by the time I count to three. If she continues to do that then I put her in time out.  If she won't stay in time out I warn her that if she gets up again it's a spanking.  When she gets up again she gets a spanking and sent back to time out.  Since she's three she gets three minutes of time out.  Once she has calmed down we talk about good decisions and bad decisions.  We talk about how good decisions keep our hearts clean and how we need a clean heart so Jesus can live there.  She gets it and it works for us.  I always make her apologize and we kiss and make up everytime.

An immediate time out (no warning) is for hitting either us or other kids or being very ugly to other children.  I do not tolerate AT ALL her being a mean girl.  CANNOT stand it.  I do not want my child to be the bully at school, the kid acting up in class and not listening to her teacher, the kid making others feel bad about themselves.  I just cannot have that.  At our house I expect a lot of Georgia and I don't think that's asking too much out of her.  She needs to learn now to be mindful of others and listen to authority figures.  When she is running towards the street and I yell, "stop" because a car is coming I want her to listen the FIRST time.  When she gets frustrated with a friend who took her toy I want her to calmly know how to express that she's not ok with that.  I want her to know when I say be home at 11 that I mean be home at 11.

I'm shaping an adult and that's the bottom line to me.

11 comments:

cait said...

:) discipline=love in my opinion. Time-out is what currently works best for Adeline...and it took a spanking when she got up before the timer (she gets 2.5 since she's 2.5) to get her to realize we mean business about staying there. Took one time and now she always stays. Love how you explain to G that we need a clean heart for Jesus to live there. That wording is perfect. Gonna add that to our forgiveness discussion/portion of time out. ;)

Pamela said...

You go, mom!

stephanie said...

This is really great. We have never done the soap thing, but we do everything else in our home. I believe in the power of spankings (when used properly, obviously), ha. I bet a lot of your opinions come from being a school teacher and seeing the end result of no discipline at home. I like how you incorporate a greater meaning to behaving also.

Michelle said...

You rock!! I can't come up with a high enough complement for your methods of discipline, but it just makes such perfect sense and seems right on line with age and maturity. Good job, mama!

Nina said...

Thanks for sharing. I needed this today!

Melanie said...

Amen sister!! I believe in being strict as well..if they disobey now and act wild what does it hold for their futures? There were a lot of people who should have been spanked that are now sitting in prison!!

Melanie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Brenna Boyd said...

LOVE this! I am not the type to do soap in the mouth or regular spankings but I do not think there is anything wrong with it when done this way.

Emily said...

Love this! Can I ask when you started this type of discipline with G? Lilly is 15 months and I am not sure she understands what "no" means, or what we mean when we try and explain things to her, you know? I haven't done any research on it, but your post made me think about it and I thought I would ask in case you knew or had some tips! I know right now though, she does things for our reactions (positive and negative) but I am not sure how to curve that at this point!

MICHELE said...

totally agree and we need more parents like this. I am the exact same way only I don't count--first time I say it--you obey it...it's a little quote they here me say. B/c like you said when they are running into danger and I say STOP. they need to stop not on 3 or 5 or 17 but the first time. Kids know your # so they usually wait for as long as they can. HA! I started all my no nonsense parenting at age 1. And different expectations that were age appropriate before that. I never think they are too young to learn appropriate behavior. Love this post.

Megan C said...

Love that you posted this! I totally agree! I will admit when I was a teacher I had a hard time following through because they weren't my kids and it was hard to discipline a student who didn't know how to handle or call their parent and their parent get on to me! But I am definitely going to be like this with Seth and I think it's very important. I like how you have talks and give her warnings, it is a great way to discipline! Most people skip that and then the child has no idea how to change what they did, they just know it got then attention.

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