Milam - One Month

September 22, 2016

A glimpse at Milam at one month
Mini pumpkins making a, "2" next month will make more sense.  The apples are making a, "1"

You typically take 4 naps a day.  Usually 3 one hour naps and 1 three hour nap.  Sometime 2 two hour naps and 2 one hour naps.  You wake up between 7-8 and are up for 1-1.5 hours and then take your first nap.  The rest of the day you only stay up one hour and that includes the time you eat.  Then, before bed we try to keep you up an hour and a half but you don't always make it.  We usually let you cat nap as we carry you around the house or eat dinner.  You usually try and fight one of your naps but I never know which one it will be.  You don't are just up and figity.  Also, I never know when you'll have your long nap.  It's usually your second or third nap but not always.  You like to go to bed between 7-8.  I wish you could go to bed later but you don't.  After we put you to bed you usually wake up about 40-45 minutes later and want to be held but you don't want to be up and you don't really want to eat (Your sister did this too and this age).  After we get you settled again you can sleep for up to 7 hours.  It is usually 4-5.  For the longest time, your feeding in the middle of the night, you would wake up and eat but then stay up for two hours!  BUT, that seems to have passed (for the most were up from 11:30-1:30 last night but you haven't done that in about 5 days) and now you just get up to eat.  You are still a tummy sleeper and w're ok with that.  It is the only way you'll sleep for long amounts of time.  So, keeping you on a schedule (not letting you sleep too late in the morning or for your last nap of the day) and on your tummy seems to keep you from waking up all night long. And, Huggies night time diapers.
You eat 2-4 oz at a time.  You are not a comfort eater.  When you were nursing or now from a bottle you never have eaten for comfort (your sister did) but you are such a messy eater.  If you are done or you are asleep you will not eat.  There is no convincing you other wise.  You are not interested in a paci.  You are now on 100% formula as of a few days ago.  You were a good nurser and my supply really wasn't a huge issue.  You had to be on some formula after a few days which I knew would happen because I couldn't keep up because of my thyroid issue (I was getting dehydrated and dizzy...I weigh less now then before I got pregnant with you) but we didn't have as huge of an issue as your sister did.  BUT we got thrush (my left side and your tongue and diaper area).  I had thrush with your sister and it is very contagious and we passed it back and fourth.  With you, you stopped eating on the side with thrush.  You would get very irritable.  You favored the right side BUT my right side became clogged...for over two days.  No amount of pumping, hot compress, hot shower/bath, essential oils would fix it.  The amount I could pump was cut in half due to the thrush and clogs.  It was super frustrating.  I put you on meds, cleaned and sterilized everything multiple times a day and then one morning found blood on your sheets.  Apparently that is common from thrush (blisters in your mouth and throat) and I was just done.  I was still wanting to nurse you in the morning and evening but it just wasn't worth your health.  You were eating less, irritable when eating, and irritable when you would spit up...then the blood.  It can take WEEKS to heal in the mother and in the mean time there is no way I can not pass it on to you...even when pumping.  And, even now, you've been on meds over a week and you still have it so if it had cleared in me, I would get it again from you.  Like your sister, if we had battled one breastfeeding obstacle at a time I could have endured. (Fairly certain your sister gave me PTSD and I was like, "NO! We can't do this again!")  But, all these issues seem prone to pile on me all at one time and again, it's not worth your health or my mental health.
Before I made the final call on what to do I prayed.  Up to this point I had been praying that breastfeeding would work so I changed my prayer and asked God how I should feed you...what would be best for our now family of four.  The next morning I woke up and read my devotional.  It actually used the word, "produce" and that's a word I was using all the time in reference to nursing.  This made it very clear that I was striving for something that I needed to let go.  Mom guilt is something you'll never understand ;) Guilt because I was spending less time with your sister when pumping, guilt because I was pumping to be able to leave the house or have your dad get up with you, guilt because the food I was giving you was making you sick...

Your diaper rash has cleared but because of the thrush you had two blisters with fluid and I was really worried they could get infected so I've been changing your diaper super often to prevent that.  It is all cleared up although it never seemed to bother you like the thrush in your mouth has.  (P.S. don't google thrush diaper rash...yours doesn't look like that!)  We are still battling the thrush in your mouth.  We're on gentian violet now.  You're also either throwing up the GV or throwing up because of the yeast in your throat/mouth.  I can really tell that the thrush bothers you but you're so much more content (with a worse case) than your sister was.  I can tell you have such a good temperament, just like your dad.  I hope it stays that way.
You smile at us and have even seemed to want to laugh.  It's so cute.  We've conquered the car seat and you happily ride along with us or sleep the entire time.  When we get to where we are going I usually wear you if you're awake.  If you're still asleep you stay in the car seat.  I feel like your dad and I are finally coming out of our newborn/thrush fog and turning into normal people again.
We love you so much.

Update from your one month appointment.  11.1 pounds and 22.5 inches.  90% all around.

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