This Pregnancy and Prayer

I've always wanted this pregnancy to reflect God and his glory and that is just what he has done.  These are all the ways God has revealed himself to me and others in regards to this pregnancy.  I prayed so often that this baby would shed light on God's truth and be used to show people his goodness, kindness, mercy, and truth.

My first miscarriage I bounced back from.  I gave myself one day to be upset and then I was done and moved on. The second one literally broke me.  Broke me.  Satan won me over and it's embarrassing to write but I stopped praying because I just didn't care.  Life seemed pointless.  I literally thought, "Why pray?  God doesn't care.  God doesn't listen."  But he does.  I promise you he does.  He does care.  It took two miscarriages for me to have a passionate faith and I get that.  I was coasting before because I could.  I had a strong faith but it wasn't anywhere near as mature as it is now (which isn't to say that I don't have leaps and bounds to go!)  Sometimes we think that because we have adversity or it just isn't working out that it isn't meant to be but MAYBE it's because we need to persevere, and trust, and believe God will do what he has said.  "Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" James 1:4  I want my life and story to speak of God's grace and mercy.

"If I should speak then let it be

Of the grace that is greater than all my sin

Of when justice was served and where mercy wins

Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in

Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him"

1)  First, was when my friend was praying for me to become pregnant and she loudly heard God say, "it is done".  This was in August of 2015.  I didn't get pregnant that month but I did a few months later and I'm actually due in August so it makes perfect sense now.

2)  Jonathan had a dream that a certain student at his school came up to him and said, "I have good news.  Your wife is pregnant."  Odd that it was a student BUT this particular student had a very unique name (that I had never heard of) and I felt that the name wasn't made up.  So, I looked up the name and sure enough it was a "Bible name" (in Spanish) that means "made of God".  So, it wasn't so much the student that had meaning but his name.  I knew our next baby would be a true gift from God.

3)  On Christmas eve I had a friend text me an image that said, "If you saw the size of the blessing coming you would understand the magnitude of the battle you are fighting".  The very next day I got a positive pregnancy test.

4)  A few weeks later I was on a girl's trip in Dallas and still inside Dallas, headed home, and had only been in the car about 20 minutes before I had to stop and throw up...at a gas station public restroom.  I hardly slept all night because I felt so badly.  It had been a rough few days.  As I'm squatting/leaning over a public restroom toilet my sister in law (who did not know I was pregnant) texted me.  She said she woke up at 2am and felt the intense need to pray for me.  She told me she had prayed for me from 2am-4am before she went back to bed.  Literally, the sickest I had ever been in my life and God is waking people up to pray for me to get me home from Dallas to Houston.

5)  Another sweet friend had a dream I was announcing I was pregnant (she was announcing she was pregnant as well) and we both had angels hovering over us.  She is also now pregnant.

6)  Before my first appointment I had been praying that this baby would be above average in all ways and would be measuring ahead.  I specifically had prayed this because my third pregnancy (which ended in loss) the baby was measuring behind.  At my first appointment baby was nearly a full week ahead in growth.

You split the sea, so I could walk right through it
You drowned my fears in perfect love 
You rescued me, so I could stand and sing 
I am a child of God

7)  One of my best friend has been praying this baby would be "perfect".  Each appointment I've had (four at this point) the doctor and nurses have all used the word "perfect" to describe me and the baby.

8)  I've talked before about the song I heard when I knew I was pregnant with G, before I took the test, and every time I hear that song it has always given me hope.  It just has a lot of special meaning.  Well, to start, it's a Christmas song and that's the day I found out I was pregnant.  Second, when I turned into the doctor's office for my first appointment that song immediately began to play on the radio.  It gave me goosebumps. 

9)  A month or so before I got pregnant I was fed up and just DONE.  I told Jonathan we needed to adopt because I just couldn't take this anymore.  I told him that in the car on the way to Bible study.  I walked into Bible study feeling good about my decision and we were talking about Anna that day.  She lived in the temple all her life and her devoutness enabled her to be able to meet Jesus in person as a baby.  One of the ladies in our group spoke up and said, "What if Anna had given up?  What if she had decided to leave the temple just one time...she could have missed seeing Jesus.  Sometime we need to be in it for the long haul."  I was like, "really, God?  Really?  Ok, ok, I get it."  A few days prior I was on a local adoption website and the program I was interested in was actually closed.  CLOSED.  I was shocked but figured I would keep looking...we know a lot of families that have adopted plus my dad and brother are adopted so it felt natural...until my Bible study class.

10)  We found out on CHRISTMAS DAY!  Of all days.  Need I say more?

11)  I've said this before but seriously, all the comments that y'all have been praying for us...that me announcing I'm pregnant, "gave you chills", "made you cry", "made your day"...I am so moved and in awe.  I love the way God moves in my heart and in the hearts of others.  Y'all are awesome.

"For all who wait
For all who hunger
For all who've prayed
For all who wander
Behold your King
Behold Messiah
Emmanuel"

I included my favorite song lyrics during these trials.  They literally kept me going some days. Link for them HERE, HERE, and HERE.  I cry every time I listen to them and it's funny how I notice different lyrics now that I'm on the other side of my valley.  Thank you, Jesus.  Thank you.

To tell you my story is to tell of HIM